Relationship Tips for a Happy Marriage Part 76: No Interference
Do your friends and relatives come to you with unsolicited advice or information regarding your marriage? How can you discourage this and still maintain healthy relationships with them?
Interference from friends and family can cause tension even in happy marriages. In fact it is one of the leading causes of divorce. As a married couple, you are responsible for establishing boundaries to protect your marriage from such interference. Here are some tips to help you with that.
Boundaries to Protect Your Marriage from Family
Parents, siblings and relatives in general love to interfere in their loved ones’ marriages. Most of them do it out of habit and with the best intentions at heart. Therefore, you have to be careful how you handle their interference so as not to hurt their feelings or ruin family relationships.
If you are used to telling your family every little detail of your relationship, it’s time to stop. You can’t share this information with them and expect them not to give you unsolicited advice. You also don’t want them knowing all your spouse’s weaknesses because they may use this information against him or her in an attempt to protect you. Your partner may also feel betrayed once he or she finds out that you shared this information with your family.
Just because you are no longer able to share every detail of your life with your family doesn’t mean that you should avoid them. Doing this will only make them more curious about your relationship issues. Instead, explain to them the limits of their involvement in your marriage calmly and in a loving way.
Boundaries to Protect Your Marriage from Friends
How much do your friends know about your marriage? Sharing every detail of your relationship with your friends is like handing them an invitation to interfere in your marriage.
While it is okay to discuss general aspects of your marriage with your friends there are some categories that you should steer clear of. This includes personal details about your partner and other information that you wouldn’t want made public. Even when such information is already known to your friends, you can avoid discussing it by letting them know that you and your spouse are handling the issue privately.
Lastly, when friends and family members come to you with ideas on how to deal with a situation in your marriage, it is okay to say no. Let them know that you value their views but you and your spouse are going to make the final decision together. Be firm but do not be disrespectful as this might ruin whatever healthy relationships you have with them.