Relationship Tips for a Happy Marriage Part 39: Keep the Kids Out Of It
If you are married with kids, you know that children are a wonderful gift. However they also require a lot of care and attention which can make it quite difficult to balance between marriage and family. This balance can be achieved by following a few rules.
Raising kids is by no means easy but it can get a lot harder if you fail to set boundaries for your kids. As a parent, it is your responsibility to make rules and enforce them.
Outlining when your kids are allowed into your bedroom and how they are to behave when they are there is one important boundary that can save your marriage. The last thing you want is to have your kids jumping on your bed or having pillow fights in your room when you would rather be having an intimate time with your partner. On the other hand, you should not completely deny your kids the opportunity to snuggle with their mom and dad every once in a while.
It is all about finding a happy medium and making the necessary rules to keep the kids in check. For instance, consider letting your kids know that once you have tucked them into their beds, they are not allowed into your room unless it is an emergency.
Do your children know that you love and respect your spouse? The only way the children will learn this is if they hear it from you and then see it in your actions.
For instance, if you can’t drop your kids off at the mall because you promised to pick your partner up from work which is in a different direction from where your kids are going, explain this to them. It helps them to understand from a tender age that your spouse means as much to you as they mean to you.
It also boosts your spouse’s confidence and makes them feel that they are an important part of the family as well.
Nurture both your kids and your marriage
Your desire to raise your kids right should equal your desire to have a successful marriage.
When making a parenting decision, consider how it is going to affect your relationship with your spouse. Be sure to involve your spouse in the decision making process as this will show them that you value their opinion. After all, you are building your dream marriage and family together.
Don’t put so much effort into raising your kids that you forget to love your spouse. Remember that for your kids to turn out great, they must be brought up in a loving home.
Keep the kids out of your marriage problems
If you are going through a rough patch in your marriage, avoid passing the ill feelings down to the kids. Do not use them to speak to your spouse on your behalf or as an excuse to avoid spending time with your partner. In fact, it is best if your kids don’t know that you are having marital problems; unless of course you really want them to know.
Once you have set your boundaries and priories, communicate them clearly to your children. Also be consistent in enforcing these rules and sooner or later you will be enjoying being married with kids.