How often do you go out of your way to be kind to your partner?

When everyday responsibilities become stressful, little acts of kindness from a spouse can make difficult times easier to handle. In fact, kindness is a great way to show love and affection for your partner and make them feel special. Studies show that a couple that shows kindness towards one another – in the form of words and gestures – is more likely to have a happy marriage.

In a healthy relationship, kindness is expressed freely whether the recipient deserves it or not.  However, it is all worth it in the end because your spouse is more likely to be kind to you if you are kind to them.

Spoken Kindness

Thoughtful words are the mark of spoken kindness.  Being thoughtful means not making snarky remarks about your partner’s actions or responding his or her questions sarcastically. Treat everything that your partner says or does as intelligent and listen to him or her before talking back. Clarify the point your partner is trying to get across with genuine questions without being demeaning or sarcastic.

Your words are like seeds sowed in the heart of your husband or wife so be careful with your tone when communicating with your partner.  Do not raise your voice but instead be supportive and encouraging to your spouse when you speak to them. Kindness should also be reflected in your attitude and mood.

Lastly, do not forget to thank and commend your partner for their acts of kindness towards you.  A simple thank you can boost your partner’s self esteem and encourage him to do more.

Emotional Generosity

Generosity can be emotional or physical. Emotional generosity leaves your partner feeling valued, loved, respected, desired and appreciated.  There is a common misconception that women crave emotional generosity more than men. However, men also need to feel admired and cared for. In fact, research shows that men are more likely to be unhappy in relationships where there is no emotional generosity. Small endearments such as kisses, cuddles, massages or holding hands are a good start to emotional generosity.

Generous Acts

Emotional kindness works best when combined with physical kindness. For instance, you can wash your partner’s car once in a while. You do not even have to wash it yourself; you can take it to a car wash and your partner will still appreciate.

Making a packed lunch for your husband or wife to take to work is another simple but generous act.  If possible drop by  their work place with the surprise lunch treat and make them the envy of their coworkers.  You can even add emotional generosity to the lunch by including a love note in the package just to remind him or her how much you appreciate them.

If you haven’t made your husband or wife a packed lunch in a long while, why not try  this or any other acts of kindness this week for a happier, healthier marriage.