Relationship Tips For A Happy Marriage Part 6: Avoiding "Unnecessary" Conflict
Relation Tip #1: Do You Want To Be Right Or Be In Love?
I know what you’re thinking: You want to be right AND be in love! But as much as you want to be right, there are times when you have to just let it go so you can be in love. One of the best relationship tips I can offer is to do whatever you can to avoid foolish debates in your marriage that cause unnecessary conflict.
Here’s what I mean.
Maybe you’re a Republican and your spouse is a Democrat (maybe it’s the other way around). You already know from experience how an “innocent” comment can mushroom into a heated debate that quickly explodes into a full blown argument.
Avoid kicking over hornets nests in your marriage.
If you know a certain topic is prone to triggering an argument, then AVOID it altogether – and don’t allow yourself be baited into a conversation that’s going to end in bad feelings.
No Unhealthy or Harmful Debates
Make it a rule in life that you will not allow yourself to participate in any unhealthy or harmful debates with your spouse (it’s a great rule for your other relationships, too).
If you sense that a certain conversation is about to become argumentative, and it’s not an argument worth having (some are), then politely and discreetly end the conversation.
Relationship Tip #2: Stop Talking About Nothing
I’m not sure if you ever watched the Jerry Seinfeld television show years ago but if you did then maybe you remember a series of episodes where the characters were pitching an idea to a major network on developing a TV show about nothing. No theme. No plot. No high stakes. The idea was to literally create a “show about nothing” (it was actually very funny, and if you were a fan of the show then you’re probably smiling right now as you remember those particular episodes).
When you stop to think about it, that’s the way it is often times in conversations with our spouse – we talk a lot about absolutely nothing.
Why talk about nothing when you can talk about something?
In many homes across the country, typical conversations around the dinner table might go something like this: “How do you like your potatoes?”, “Is the spaghetti overcooked?”, “What’s on TV tonight?”
Please don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing wrong with small talk. But when the majority of our conversations are about “nothing” then I think the opportunity exists to grow in this area – to make our relationships better, stronger and warmer.
Talk About Something
Consider making it a rule in your marriage to intentionally talk about something. Ask real questions – questions that matter.
Ask your partner about what’s going on at work. Ask your kids about what’s happening at school. Take an active interest in their lives to demonstrate that you care about them. Enjoy meaningful conversation. Frankly, maybe you’re not really interested in what’s happening at work or school, but you are interested in their lives aren’t you? Then let your conversation show it.
If you want a happier marriage, then begin practicing these two relationship tips: 1) Avoid debates that might lead to unnecessary conflict, and 2) Do your best to stop talking about nothing and start talking about something.
Be mad about marriage by implementing these two small tips today.