Relationship Tips For A Happy Marriage Part 5: Alone Time
Quality Time With…Yourself
We’ve talked about the importance of quality and quantity time with your spouse and how essential they are for maintaining a healthy and happy marriage. And although most spouses should probably spend a lot more time with each other than they do, others might do better if they gave each other a little elbow room – some space.
You need your space –quality time alone to connect with yourself regularly and pursue goals that are important to you. Your spouse needs this, too, even though they might not think so.
We need time to decompress, think, dream, relax – to simply exist and enjoy our life. If you’re the kind of person who is ALWAYS giving in some capacity and never take time to care for yourself, then it’s likely the day will come when you feel resentful, deprived, and bitter.
What are some things you could do? Maybe it’s been so long since you last did anything for yourself that you don’t know where to begin. So here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Go fishing
- Schedule regular time at the gym
- Take time to read your favorite book
- Learn a new language
- Learn to sing
- Enroll in a martial arts class
- Go golfing
- Learn how to scuba dive
- Learn to play the guitar or piano
- Be a big brother or big sister
- Take up astronomy
- Get the camera you’ve always wanted and start taking pictures again
- Go to a ballgame and watch your favorite team play
- Get your pilot’s license
Those are just a few ideas. But only you know what you’ve been dreaming about or putting off that you’ve been wanting to do. So just go do it!
HOW TO MAKE THIS WORK
Step 1: Affirm your spouse by sharing how much you love and enjoy spending time with them. It’s important for them to understand that you’re not trying to get away from them. Do hear me? Good!
Step 2: Share this post about how important it is to have quality time for self-connection.
Step 3: Discuss if there is anything they’ve wanted to do personally but have been putting off. Then encourage them to do it.
Step 4: Share some things you’ve been wanting to do.
Step 5: Encourage and support each other to pursue your passion, hobbies or goals.
Step 6: Then schedule a set time on the calendar. It only becomes real when you schedule it. For example, maybe every other Tuesday night is your personal nights out – not to see other people of course(!) but to enjoy some of the things that you’ve been wanting to do or learn.
Step 7: Support the process by affirming your spouse and taking an interest in what they’re learning or doing.
You Need Time Alone
You and your spouse need time alone individually to grow and develop, and to do things that are fun for you but that might not be as enjoyable for your mate.
I know it might sound strange – even contradictory – but you and your spouse really do need time alone for self-connection in order to feel alive and to live life to the fullest personally, and also to enjoy life at an even deeper level as husband and wife when you spend time together.
So start practicing this relationship tip for a happy marriage today and watch your love for each other grow.