Relationship Advice: Dream!
Question: Do you just want to save your marriage (or have an average one) or do you want an outstanding marriage?
You have the opportunity to not only heal, save and restore your marriage but also to have the happiest, healthiest and most fulfilling marriage, too.
But you really have to want it and then work for it because it won’t happen on its own.
I know in my heart that you’ve decided that you want a happy, healthy and fulfilling marriage with the person to whom you’re married; you are, as they say in Poker, all-in.
I’d like for you to review your marriage history. How much of the strength, health and passion of the early days remains? Are you still madly in love? Or have the concerns, burdens and responsibilities of daily life taken their toll?
Are you enthusiastic about the future of your relationship and what is possible or are you bored?
The Bible says that our thoughts determine what we become. So my suggestion is for you stop focusing on what you’ve lost and to start focusing on what you want your marriage to become.
Learn from the past but then move on and start creating the kind of life and marriage you want.
You had some pretty exciting dreams when you first got married. Life has a way of getting in the way and throwing cold water on our aspirations. But don’t let it happen. Truth is, if you’ve stopped dreaming then it’s because YOU stopped dreaming somewhere along the way.
Take your power back and start dreaming again.
Be careful about being too idealistic because it’s unlikely you will ever have the ideal situation or the perfect marriage. Life is rarely, if ever, ideal” and you know full well that there are NO perfect marriages.
Here’s some advice as you start dreaming again: Invite your spouse to dream with you. Share your hopes, visions, goals and aspirations. And in doing this I think you will come up with some pretty amazing, perhaps even better and more exciting, hopes and dreams.
Here are some topics that you might wish to consider as you dream together:
- Adventures and experiences
- Memories to create
- Contributions to make
- Love / your relationship
You have so many options and opportunities to create the marriage of your dreams. You really do! It’s up to you. And if you doubt whether or not this is something you can do, then just get started because wonderful things will happen when you take action.
You may wish to dream small AND big by setting one year, two year, three year, five year and ten year dreams. It’s totally up to you.
WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT?
This process is important because it gives you something to live for and look forward to. The other thing it does is refocus you from obsessing over the faults of your marriage to focusing on its strengths (it deepens your bond of intimacy, too).
So go build a great life together!
Fall madly in love again.
And reignite your relationship.