Marriage Help for Long-Distance Lovers
MARRIAGE IN TODAY’S WORLD
Life in today’s world doesn’t mean that you and your spouse will be together 24/7. In fact, during the past several years some spouses have taken jobs in other states, and sometimes even in other countries, just to provide for their families.
What do you do when facing a long distance relationship?
Will your marriage survive?
Will absence make your hearts grow fonder or wander?
And how do you maintain and and build the bonds of intimacy across the miles?
When forced into a long distance marriage, couples will benefit from some of the various kinds of marriage help that are discussed below.
MARRIAGE HELP FOR LONG DISTANCE LOVERS
Please remember this: Just because you and your spouse aren’t with each other everyday doesn’t mean that you will have a horrible relationship or that your marriage will fail.
Meeting regularly with a marriage therapist can keep you accountable to your marriage and focused on doing the things that you need to do to maintain a healthy and growing relationship.
One of the things that you need for maintaining a healthy marriage is intimacy. And the good news is that intimacy isn’t just about sex.
Intimacy is that deep soul-to-soul connection you share with your husband or wife. It is the sacred bond that unites you into one “flesh” mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
So when it comes to a long distance relationship, take courage in knowing that you can still maintain the mental, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of intimacy more easily than perhaps you thought possible.
THE BIGGEST PROBLEM IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP
Challenges with communication will be the biggest problem you face during a long distance relationship.
So you might consider attending a workshop or seminar that teaches ways for communicating more effectively with your husband or wife; books are another helpful resource, buy one and keep it with you to read during “lost minutes” like when waiting in a doctor’s office, etc.
Learning how to communicate is essential because communication encourages and deepens intimacy, especially in long distance relationships.
What I can tell you is this: If you aren’t intentional about keeping your marriage strong across the miles, then your relationship will suffer; you cannot coast. You will grow apart if you don’t take steps to stay together emotionally through communication.
FIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO TO STAY CONNECTED
When it comes to a long distance relationship, keep this one thing in mind: Be creative. Have fun and be yourself! Here are some tips to get you started:
1. Let Them Know
Demonstrate in a number of different ways to your husband or wife that they are on your mind – that your are thinking about them!
Call them. Skype them. Text them. Face-time them! Stay in contact. If you don’t feel like doing this then know that it is a sign that your relationship is in trouble and needs help.
2. Spontaneous Love Notes
Every so often send your lover a love note. Keep the romantic connection alive. Perhaps plan a special rendezvous for when you’re finally together; this gives you something to look forward to.
3. Give A Gift
Sending your husband or wife a special gift not only shows that you love them but gives them something physical to keep with them. It’s not as good as having you there but it offers something tangible for them to treasure and touch.
4. Go Into The Movie Making Business (well, sort of)
Don’t think for a minute that movie-making should only be left to the Steven Spielberg’s of the world. Capture your everyday life on film and share it with your lover. Maybe create a video diary in which you share things you’ve seen, places you want to visit or things you want to do with them upon their return. Be creative. Be playful. Mix it up. Have fun.
Ask your husband or wife to make a video of their “new world” and share it with you. This helps you to feel as if you are a part of their life even though you’re not physically present.
Video is a great way to stay connected emotionally with your spouse – and it’s a great way to deepen intimacy across the miles.
5. A Mixed Tape!
Okay. I know mixed tapes are a thing of the past. But make a playlist or share a favorite song via i-Tunes. Sometimes a song says the perfect thing. So stay connected through music. And whenever you both hear that song, from that point on, you will think of each other.
Here’s a thought: Maybe call their local radio station, or make arrangements, for “your” song to be played publicly as a special way for them to know that you are thinking of them.
All of these things are simple but can have a profound impact on keeping your love alive across the miles because your husband or wife will know that they are number one in your life…and that you plan to keep it that way.