Small talk? Men? Not so much. We like finding solutions and fixing things – our approach to life is concrete and we want quick results.

But relationships take time. So when a husband sees that he needs marriage help and realizes that “fixing” the problems over night is highly unlikely, he can be left wondering where to turn for help.

Men want strong marriages. They care about their wives and really do want a healthy and happy relationship that lasts.

Many, if not most, husbands are willing to do whatever it takes to work things out.

Some are better with relationship stuff than others, so it’s easier for them. Others simply don’t know where to start or what to do.

But here’s the good news. In general, men, because of their solution-finding natures and sometimes annoying propensity to “fix” stuff,  will accept personal responsibility for trying to improve the situation.

But here’s the deal. Husbands are not as willing as wives to enlist the help of a marriage counselor. Meeting with a stranger to talk openly about their marriage problems can be a very uncomfortable and intimidating process for a man.

So if it seems that your husband is dragging his feet about seeing a marriage counselor, please don’t take it to mean that he lacks the interest or desire to make things better.

To get the best results when seeking marriage help, a husband and wife should agree on a process that is comfortable for everyone. In some situations, a husband might feel more comfortable with meeting one-on-one initially with a male counselor.

Men are private – they don’t usually talk about everything with their friends like women do, or are as open  about the worries and burdens they  carry silently within. But this is okay because they can still get the marriage help they need from books, seminars and other resources, many of which are online.

A common source of marriage trouble today is differing/conflicting parenting styles. Here’s a thought: Why not attend a class with your wife on effective child-rearing techniques? Or get a book and read it together.

In many cases, taking simple steps like these will improve marital situation satisfaction because the wife sees an engaged husband who is taking action.

Another common source of marriage trouble, as we all know, is money.

If finances are driving you nuts and creating ongoing arguments,  why not see a financial planner with your wife, or take a class together?

Consider this: Many credit counseling centers will help couples with making budgets.  Find one and enlist its services.

All of these options are a form of marriage help even though they don’t involve the time-honored approach of seeing a marriage counselor.

Lastly, there are many online sources of marriage help for men to explore that allows for privacy and comfort. Today, many marriage therapists offer counseling over the Internet. Just make sure to find a trustworthy expert by doing your due diligence. But in the end, this could be a great option for you and your family.

There is no shortage of marriage help when you employ a creative problem-solving approach. So if you are a husband and are reading this, I encourage you to find a solution that focuses on the root cause of the problem. You and your wife are in this together, so you have to work through it together. This involves compromise.

Remember, everyone should feel comfortable with the kind of relationship help you choose. With a little time, energy and effort, you will find a way to turn things around and be mad about marriage again instead of just being mad.