Marriage problems are hard to fix because of the deep, often heated, feelings surrounding certain issues and conflicts.

But even though these problems are difficult to solve, it’s not impossible to find solutions that can save a marriage and make it strong again. If you’re in this situation, then consider these 3 tips:

Tip #1 – The first step to save your marriage is to acknowledge that a problem exists.

This can be a painful process. But instead of letting your emotions get away from you, focus your attention on finding reasons for why the problem exists. You will find that this calms you down because now you’re taking action instead of staying stuck and stewing over it.

Tip #2- The second step to save your marriage is to make a genuine commitment to work things out.

It’s better if your spouse joins you in making this commitment (obviously) but even if you begin this journey alone, it is a journey worth taking if nothing else than because of what you will learn about yourself.

Tip #3 – As I’ve often said before, communication is the first and primary key to resolving marriage issues.

An honest discussion with your husband or wife, where you really seek to understand how each other thinks and feels about the existing marital conflict, puts you on a pathway to healing.

But communication is tough. And although some couples can find solutions on their own at this stage, others benefit from seeking the help of a third party.

If you enlist the help of a marriage counselor to save your marriage,  then it should be from someone you trust – someone who offers good advice. So put some thought into it. This is your marriage we are talking about here.

A great place to start is with your pastor, spiritual leader, or a qualified marriage counselor. These professionals seldom turn people away. They will you accept you with open arms and provide the comfort and support you need.

Please keep an open mind and be ready to hear and receive their advice because you will not always hear what you want to hear.

Some of the things they share might be unpleasant. Your relationship and marriage will be evaluated. And it might be pointed out that it is you who has made some mistakes even though you are convinced it is  not you! So at least listen to their advice and consider how it might apply to your situation.

The great thing about marriage counseling is that it creates a safe place for you and your spouse to work through your conflicts, disagreements and troubles. And all of this is done in a spirit of healing and building up instead of in a climate of hurting and tearing down. Make sense? So don’t hold back — share how you feel about each other. And strive to understand (not necessarily always agree ) the viewpoints presented.

Bonus Tip #4 – Two other great tools to save your marriage are marriage retreats and marriage seminars. In fact, you might try one of these first if you are hesitant about marriage counseling or are having difficulty finding a suitable marriage counselor.

Attending a marriage retreat or a marriage seminar immerses you and your spouse deep into the healing process. Instead of working through your issues an hour a week for six months, you are placed in an environment that requires you to stick with it for a few days until you have a relationship breakthrough.

Many couples identify a marriage seminar or retreat as the catalyst that turned their marriage around. My wife and I conduct Mad About Marriage  seminars throughout the country and would love to meet you at one.

At the end of the day, you have to ask yourself these two questions:

1) Do I want to really save my marriage?

2) And Am I willing to do whatever it takes to save my marriage?

If the answer to these questions is “yes” then there is a very good chance that within a few short months from now you will have turned things around, and have a renewed relationship with your spouse that overflows with happiness and love, and be thrilled that you did what you did to save your marriage.