What True Commitment Really Means To A Marriage
What does the notion of “commitment” mean to you?
What would your spouse have to do for you to be absolutely convinced that he or she is TOTALLY committed to you and your marriage?
Within the context of marriage, commitment is about unity, faithfulness, monogamy, friendship, affection, love, respect and many other beautiful attributes that are absolutely priceless.
The idea of commitment is often associated with relationships. But for some reason in our world today, it doesn’t mean what it used to.
There seems to be a loss of commitment among couples because they are more apt to seek divorce as a solution for marital conflict.
So in this post, we will explore what it means to be truly committed to your husband or wife, and the effects it has on the marriage.
Let’s begin by exploring whether marriage is even worth the risk if it’s so difficult to find a loyal partner. Why is it so hard to find someone who will remain faithful?
One reason might be the influence of entertainment.
How many television shows and movies have you seen where the sanctity of marriage is supported and upheld?
Think about it for a minute.
How is commitment usually portrayed? Affairs, lying, emotional cruelty and sex outside of marriage are commonplace.
The mindset seems to be that since we’re flawed we’re going to mess things up and disappoint the ones we love – especially our spouse.
So some people reach a point where it’s not only okay to be unfaithful and sleep around, it’s to be expected!
Reducing sex to a mere physical act between two people by separating it from its emotional and spiritual dimensions, makes it even easier to rationalize or justify the idea that it’s okay to sleep around.
People have affairs where there are no emotions are involved (theoretically) – it’s just physical – and they go home to their spouse, with whom they are in a committed relationship, and act surprised when they get caught cheating and say, “But it meant nothing. It was just sex! You’re the one I love.”
Now I realize that not everyone operates within their relationship with this mindset.
But how many couples seem to treat each other as if commitment is just a mere word?
Yes, I know, many husbands and wives still believe in honoring their marriage vows and are committed to staying together, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer.
Well, it’s love for some.
But for others, they are committed to staying together because of the convenience that each partner gains from the other and not because of love and respect. They are committed roommates and business partners.
It’s sad to see a decline in true marital commitment today.
The deepness of its meaning is overlooked or taken for granted. And so marriage become superficial and shallow, and trust is sacrificed.
However, there are still so many marriages that demonstrate the true meaning of commitment. I bet you can think of some right now. They are as an example of what it really means to be committed to our spouse and marriage.
For instance, one couple believes that being best friends before marriage helped them to learn how to take care of each other’s needs — and that their friendship is the basis of their commitment and trust.
Or take the husband who values his relationship with his wife and kids so much that he would never dream of an affair for fear of hurting and losing them. Or the wife who claims that her relationship with God is an essential factor to avoid temptation.
Many people have commitment phobia and are afraid of settling down and dedicating themselves to one partner for life.
They’re uncertain the relationship will last.
They wonder if the one they love might up and leave one day.
But deep within their hearts, if they are honest with themselves, they are hopeful and have a deep desire to find someone who will be faithful to them and who won’t take commitment for granted.
It means something.
It means that you made a decision to work through the hard stuff and that you are not going anywhere.
It means that you can be counted on.
It means that you will do whatever it takes to maintain a strong relationship and a happy marriage.
Marriage is an investment of love, affection, respect and trust.
It is an experience that creates profound joy, security and belonging that will last a lifetime for those who honor their commitment to each other no matter what.