No matter how much you love your partner, there must be “little things” that bug you about them. Most marriage advice will tell you not to “sweat the small stuff” but pet peeves are really hard to ignore mainly because they become increasingly irritating with time. The negative reaction becomes stronger with each exposure and this is why many people don’t notice their spouse’s annoying habits until after they have been married for some time.

Here is some marriage advice to help you prevent these mole hills from becoming mountains in your married life.

Admit that it bothers you

The truth is that you can’t tolerate your spouse’s annoying habits forever. You shouldn’t try to hold in all your frustration just because you don’t want to cause waves in the marriage. Instead, you should admit to your spouse when something bothers you.

Be kind when you bring it up. For instance, if you feel like your spouse is never ready on time, tell them that you feel stressed when you have to rush. Focus more on how you’re feeling as opposed to what your spouse is doing wrong.

Figure out a solution together

It’s possible that your spouse just doesn’t realize that some of their habits bother you and that they would willingly change them to make married life easier. However, changing one’s behavior is not easy.

You and your spouse should work together to come up with a solution that makes both of you happy. Your spouse could work on changing on their bad habits while you work on understanding them better.

Learn to talk yourself out of it

There’s nothing better than being able to control your thoughts and talk yourself down when your spouse annoys you. You have a lot more control over your thoughts than you have over your spouse’s behavior.

One way to gain control over your negative thoughts is to try and understand why your spouse behaves the way they do. Maybe they’ve been doing it since they were a child and it has now become a fundamental part of who they are.

Most marriage advice tells you not to sweat the small stuff but it doesn’t tell you how to go about it.