Every couple wants a happy marriage but few know how to lay a solid foundation for one. Too many people go into marriage hoping that love will sustain their marriages. Unfortunately, love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. 

How to Lay the Foundation for a Successful Marriage 

• Give each other feedback 

Strong marriages are built on mutual feedback.  Therefore, while it is not easy to have your shortcomings and faults pointed out by your spouse, it is a necessary step to enjoying a healthy relationship. When you know what your faults are, you can take concrete steps to change them and improve your marriage. 

However, don’t just start giving your spouse feedback if he or she has not asked for it. This may come off as criticism and cause relationship problems. Start by asking your spouse what you can change about yourself. This may inspire your spouse to also do the same. 

• Understand each other’s needs

Just because you love your spouse doesn’t mean you understand his or her needs. Never assume your know what your spouse needs. Similarly, just because your spouse loves doesn’t mean he or she understands your needs.  Your spouse is not a mind reader. It’s easier to just talk to each other about your needs. For instance, if you like hearing your spouse say “I love you,” tell him or her. Otherwise, your spouse may just assume that it’s not necessary to say it since you already know he or she loves you. 

• Learn how to cooperate

No two humans are exactly alike so it’s perfectly normal for you and your spouse to have differences. These differences can become pronounced under pressure and cause relationship problems. To avoid such problems, you must learn to see your differences as strengths, lean on each other and cooperate. You each bring something different to the table, and this gives you a higher chance of succeeding in marriage.  For instance, if you are intuitive and your spouse is analytical, combining these two traits can help you make better decisions. 

A happy marriage doesn’t just happen. It is cultivated and sustained by hard work. Some of that work involves seeking to understand each other’s needs, giving each other constructive feedback and learning to cooperate despite your differences. Doing these things lays a foundation for a happy marriage.