Do you know your spouse’s secret fantasies or what turns him/her on?  Most people assume they know what their spouse’s like based on external factors such as a book they read on intimacy in marriage. However, each person is different. You should take time to find out your spouse’s likes and dislikes from the horse’s mouth, and then use this information to figure out what works for you as a couple. Here are some tips to help you find out what your spouse likes.

Shop for Lingerie Together

Intimacy is an uncomfortable topic for most people. One of the less embarrassing ways to learn each other’s tastes is to shop for lingerie together. You can either go to the store or shop online from the comfort of your home. You can also request to have catalogs delivered to your home so that you can both look through them at your leisure.

The idea is to each select what you find exciting and arousing. This will help you to learn about each other’s tastes. Make note of what you both agree on just in case you want to purchase these items later. Even if you don’t end up buying any lingerie, this exercise can be a great ice breaker for conversations regarding intimacy in marriage.

Try some Aphrodisiacs Together

An aphrodisiac is anything that stimulates sexual desire. It could be a smell, food, drink or color. Although there isn’t much scientific evidence to support the effectiveness of aphrodisiacs, trying something new with your spouse is exciting enough on its own. Some foods and spices that are said to have aphrodisiac effects include oysters, wasabi, caviar and ginseng. The smells of musk, vanilla, Hibiscus and Cala Lilies also have aphrodisiac effects.

Make a Game Out of it

Another way to take the awkwardness out of talking about intimacy is to make a game out of it. For instance, get a large empty jar and turn it into a “suggestion box.” Each of you can then write down your most intimate fantasies and drop them in the jar. These fantasies can be anything that has to do with your fulfillment as a person, as a couple or your spouse’s fulfillment. You can set rules and boundaries depending on how far you are willing to go.

Each week, pick a fantasy from the jar and discuss it as a couple. Be careful not to judge or criticize your spouse’s fantasies. Also, come up with a plan to fulfill that fantasy before the end of that week. If it is not practical to fulfill it within the week, set it aside for a later date and pick another one.

With these three tips, you can have a lot of fun with intimacy in marriage. You’ll learn more about each other’s fantasies and desires and get to try new things. This will improve your happy marriage by helping each of you to find fulfillment and satisfaction.