Photo by madison lavern on Unsplash

Did you know that we have between 12 and 50 thousand thoughts each day? And that we’re experiencing at least one emotion nearly every waking moment? That’s a lot for the body and mind to process.

The real question is, are we ruling those thoughts and feelings, or are they ruling us?

You can begin taking charge of your life and begin mastering your emotions with the following four tips.

Name The Feeling

Becoming aware and understanding your emotions is essential and starts by naming what you’re feeling.

Spend time with the feeling and go deep to understand if it’s fear or apprehension, for example. Identifying the specific feeling helps you to recognize patterns and triggers and know which emotions drive your decisions.

When you don’t know what you’re feeling or what’s causing the emotion, it’s hard to take charge of your emotional health because you don’t know where to focus your energy to improve your life.

Naming your feelings helps you to regulate them and make better decisions.

Simply labeling your feelings decreases your physiological response. For example, when you realize that you’re feeling angry and not in danger, your body starts decreasing the amount of stress hormones it is pumping into your system.

Be Present

Bringing your thoughts and feelings into the present by slowing down and being more mindful enables you to observe what’s happening right now. It makes you more objective, allowing you to be more aware of your feelings, thoughts, and physical responses to people and situations.

Mindfulness reduces knee-jerk reactions, putting you in control; you’re better able to accept and acknowledge the reality of what’s happening instead of becoming overwhelmed by things. You manage your emotions better, making you more self-aware while strengthening your ability to focus on your life and goals and creating a life of happiness and fulfillment.

Two great mindfulness techniques are deep breathing and meditation. Practicing these habits for just a few minutes each day will improve emotional health.

Transform Negative Self-Talk

You talk to yourself every day. Your voice is narrating your life. And it’s either negative or positive; victorious or defeated; hopeful or worried; victor or victim; igniting criticism or courage.

Does your self-talk seem to always focus on what you did wrong or on what is wrong with you? Is it always critical, shaming and guilting you to improve? If so, it’s affecting your emotional health and well-being.

Decide today to transform any negative self-talk into positive affirmations to improve how you feel.

As soon as you hear that negative voice, ask if what you’re saying to yourself is based on reality. If it isn’t, your own negative bias is sabotaging you, so choose to ignore those thoughts and move forward!

You can have a playful conversation with the negative voice, too. You can say, “I know that’s what you think, but here’s what I know and believe to be true about me: I am worthy. I am loving. I am deserving. I am capable. I am courageous. I am growing.”

Insert whatever affirmation works for you.

You might even consider using this classic affirmation to silence your inner critic: “Every day in every way, I am getting better and better!” And then politely say to your inner critic, “It’s time for you to leave.”

But, what do you do if there’s some truth behind the negative self-talk? Should you ignore it and go on with business as usual? Not at all. If, after slowing down and considering what’s being said, you realize there’s some truth, take a deep breath or two, list one or two actions you can take to address AND improve the situation, and do them!

Get Curious

Emotionally healthy people tend to be curious. It keeps them open to learning, growing, and improving.

Welcome self-curiosity to become more self-aware. You’ll become more aware of your needs, too – perhaps needs that you’ve been ignoring or not prioritizing.

Asking questions of yourself and others fosters an open mind, where you’ll consider fresh perspectives and new ideas, making you more empathetic.

Closing Thoughts

It’s easy to feel like we’re at the mercy of whatever life chooses to arbitrarily throw at us – that we’re some insignificant “chew toy” of an uncaring cosmos.

But that’s not the truth of the matter. The truth is this: You are valuable, worthy, and deserving. You deserve to live and enjoy a life of happiness, love, and fulfillment.

So, by practicing the habits of naming the feeling, being present, transforming negative self-talk, and getting curious, you begin the process of taking charge of your emotional health and managing your feelings and unlocking your best life.