Part 13: A Final Word About Boundaries
The Purpose of Boundaries
We don’t set boundaries to control other people. Boundaries are meant to serve and protect what matters most to us. They allow us to live our lives on our terms. Without boundaries, we’re at the mercy of agendas, feelings and circumstances.
At the end of the day, boundaries exist to foster a healthier relationship not just with others but with ourselves as well.
The Freedom To Create Boundaries
You are free to set boundaries according to your values, wants, needs and desires. And you should enforce them firmly but kindly when people resist or cross them.
Types of Boundaries
It’s appropriate to set boundaries for every area of life: work, family, financial, romantic, just to name a few, and to even set boundaries with yourself.
Boundaries should impart a greater sense of freedom, control, happiness, balance and respect.
Effective vs. Ineffective Boundaries
It’s important to monitor your boundaries to know when they’re working effectively or if they’re ineffective. This can be achieved through assessing how you felt before having set the boundary versus after, measuring progress, or even through keeping a journal.
A boundary is effective if it’s making your life better in some way without adding unhealthy stress.
Dealing With People Who Resist Your Boundaries
Be prepared for people to resist your boundaries. Common ways people resist boundaries are through control, either aggressively or passive aggressively, intimidation, or through guilt and shame.
When this happens, in order to clear up any misunderstandings, restate your boundaries and why you set them in the first place. If a healthy compromise is possible – if it’s truly a win-win – then consider forging a compromise, but don’t become a doormat and let them walk all over you.
Your life, wants, needs, feelings, and desires are equally important to those of everyone else. Never let anyone bully you into erasing your boundaries. You and your life matter.
It’s Hard But Worth It
Although creating boundaries is difficult, it’s a worthy endeavor because the payoff is worth it.
You’ll have a life of greater joy, freedom and balance.
Your relationships will be healthier.
And your life will truly be yours. So don’t be discouraged. Stay the course and enjoy the many healthy benefits that healthy boundaries impart, namely, more time, energy, and passion to live your life to the fullest!
If you missed any of the posts in this thirteen part series, click below: