We’ve all heard that if we want our marriage to be happy and last a lifetime, we need to work on ourselves. 

When we don’t work on our issues, we tend to project them onto our partner. Our baggage makes us nitpick about the littlest of things, making it difficult for our partner to please us. 

We dump our frustrations, assumptions, and suspicions on them until they reach their limit, causing them to fight, shutdown, withdraw, or leave. 

The pattern keeps repeating until we face our issues, and learn and grow. 

Choose A Positive Outlook

It takes an optimistic perspective to make a relationship work.

A negative outlook affects how we see and deal with our partner. It affects how we see and deal with ourselves too. For example, a person who sees themselves as unlovable (a negative outlook) will be a needy partner. 

Merely deciding to change your mindset from “I’m not lovable” to “I’m worthy of love,” (a positive outlook) does wonders not just for your relationship but also for yourself. 

Negative energy creates a negative marriage. Positive energy creates a pleasant, happy relationship.

An Attitude of Gratitude

You can start shifting your mindset by developing an attitude of gratitude. Acknowledge the things you have and be grateful for them. If you can’t be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you don’t want that you don’t have!

A great place to start is by listing two or three things you’re grateful for upon waking first thing in the morning; it changes your approach to life.

A grateful spirit creates a happier marriage. 

Avoid Assumptions

Jumping to conclusions poisons your marriage. You become suspicious of your partner, thinking they’re doing stuff that they might not even be doing!

The solution? Communication!  

Discuss issues with your partner. Give them a chance to share their thoughts and feelings.

Suspend judgment.

We know it’s easier said than done, but it’s something you have to do if you want a healthy and happy relationship.

Power of the Present

A lot of us are guilty of living in the past. We don’t let things go – especially in heated arguments with our partner –  we dredge stuff up from the past.

This isn’t healthy. It’s a recipe for creating conflict and always being miserable.

For the sake of your relationship, face any past issues; work through them once and for all so you can be happy and free.

If you want your relationship to grow into something beautiful, live in the now. 

Learning from the past, but living in the present creates a promising future. 

You can change so many things in your life the moment you shift your mindset. It might not be easy or feel comfortable in the beginning, but the results are worth it!