One of the many benefits of getting married is finding a friend you can always rely on.Unfortunately, this support isn’t always available–even in a happy marriage. Often you just need to tell your partner just what you need.  Otherwise you’re going to be stuck waiting for them to remember you’re exhausted and offer to help.

Why do you have to ask for help or support from your spouse?

Shouldn’t they just offer to help?

Can’t they see you are struggling?

Well, maybe it’s not clear that you need support! Your wife or husband may not be able to distinguish between when you need a sympathetic ear and when you are asking for help. You can save a lot of time and anguish just by stating what you need.

However, studies show that men and women are different in requesting for and offering help. Men tend to be “fixers,” and often give advice even when they don’t need it. If all one is waiting for is someone to listen, nod and comply with them, this can be very distracting!

Women tend to provide moral support. Women are inclined to believe that their husbands have everything under control-unless otherwise mentioned-so when they need it, it is often up to the husbands to ask for help.

Ask for Help and Enjoy Marriage’s Full Benefits

Communicate your needs

It’s not enough to complain and vent to your spouse.

You have to state clearly that you need support. Really just tell them what they could do to help. If you’re struggling to make dinner and put have the kids in bed by a specific time, broach the subject so you two can discuss it.

Show gratitude for the help and support

This seems like a no-brainer but  so many people find it hard to say “thank you” to their partners–especially when it comes to chores. We don’t grasp why they need to praise their partner for doing tasks such as preparing family dinner or putting their own children to bed.

It is human nature to want recognition and gratitude. The spouse’s gratitude prevents them from getting taken for granted and motivates them to do more.  So if you want to enjoy the benefits of marriage, get into the habit of saying “Thank you.”