Stop Talking About Fixing Your Marriage and Start Doing!
Can you actually improve your marriage without talking about issues?
The answer is a resounding “Yes!”
In their book, How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It, psychologists Steven Stosny and Patricia Love suggest that, while it is eventually important to talk about your marital issues, you can improve your marriage by simply engaging in activities that foster connection.
Begin improving your marriage today with these simple connections: Make eye contact, enjoy non-sexual touch, use pet names such as sweetie or honey, and give compliments.
When you start the day by making a connection in at least one of these ways, you set the stage for more positive interaction later in the day, and can be assured that you are indeed improving your marriage.
Repeating these gestures at key times during the day improves your marriage because this strengthens the quality of connection the two of you feel for each other and share. That connection can help change the nature of other contacts with your spouse during the day, making each encounter a bit more pleasant.
Here’s another way to improve your marriage: Make a list of things you truly appreciate about your mate. These can be character traits your spouse possesses or behaviors they engage in. Then during the day choose just one of the items from your list and think about that item.
Dwelling on positive character traits and behaviors improves your attitude towards your mate and works to improve your marriage.
Here’s another great thing you can do to make a connection and improve your marriage: Hug.
Hugs are great ESPECIALLY when they are non-sexual (no groping intimate areas of your mate’s body during this hug). The purpose is simply to establish a connection that enhances positive feelings toward one another.
Identify behaviors you can engage in that your mate finds pleasing. It may be something as simple as taking out the trash without being asked to, or cooking a favorite meal. As we consistently engage in behavior that our mate finds pleasing, we send non-verbal messages of love.
Simple things make a big difference in the connection you feel toward your spouse. So make it a priority to connect with your mate before trying to talk about issues. That connection may make a big difference when it is time to deal with issues as you work to improve your marriage.