Why Married Couples Drift Apart Over Time
It is not uncommon for married couples to grow apart over the course of their marriage, especially if they do not put any effort towards staying connected. It is not only one of the leading reasons why married people find themselves looking for marriage tips and advice, but also one of the leading causes of divorce.
Why do couples grow apart?
They get bored
All marriages have the potential to turn into a mundane habit or routine. This is because keeping a marriage exciting requires a great amount of effort.
Most of people who get “bored” with their marriages are themselves boring people. They don’t want to put in the effort it takes to make themselves more interesting and bring more excitement into their marriages. They forget that life is full of opportunities for excitement and growth.
They live separate lives
Spouses should spend between 8 and 15 hours a week together. This means that at the very least, every couple should have a little over an hour of alone time every day. Anything less and the couple will soon find themselves growing apart.
Unfortunately many couples don’t realize they are not spending enough alone time together until they begin growing apart. This is especially true for couples who use their work, hobbies or kids as a way to escape their marriages.
They let the stress of everyday life gets to them
Life is full of challenges and life’s stresses can put a strain on a marriage. Big life events such as the birth of a child, buying a home or an illness can cause a couple to withdraw from each other due to stress.
This happens because spouses often have different ways of coping with stress. For instance, one person may be extremely emotional while the other is cold and business-like. Without the right marriage tips and advice the couple will eventually become frustrated with each other’s behavior.
They become codependent
Codependency refers a situation where one spouse constantly makes sacrifices for the other spouse’s happiness without getting much in return. In these situations, one person overfunctions by worrying excessively and feeling responsible for the other, while the other underfunctions by constantly asking for help with things that they can do for themselves and basically taking more than they give. When the overfunctioning spouse eventually gets tired of giving up their own needs to meet the needs of their partner, the couple inevitably drifts apart.
When you know what causes couples to drift apart, you can better avoid the pitfalls. You can also seek out the marriage tips and advice you need to maintain that closeness with your spouse.