Asking Your Partner for Help and Support
Are you getting the help and support you need from your partner?
One of the many benefits of marriage is having a helper that you can always count on. Sadly, this help doesn’t come automatically – even in a happy marriage. You often have to tell your partner exactly what you need. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck waiting for them to notice that you are overwhelmed and offer to help.
Why Do You Need To Ask Your Spouse For Help or Support?
Why can’t they just offer to help?
Can’t they see that you are struggling?
The thing is that it may not be obvious that you need help. Your spouse may not be able to distinguish between when you are venting and looking for a sympathetic ear and when you are asking for help. You can save yourself a lot of time and emotional energy by simply asking for what you need.
What’s more, studies show that men and women ask for and offer help differently. Men tend be “fixers” and often offer advice even when it’s not needed. This can be very annoying if all one is looking for is someone to listen, nod and agree with them!
Women tend to offer emotional support. They are inclined to believe that their husbands have everything under control – unless otherwise stated – so, it is often up to the husbands to ask for help when they need it.
Here’s How to Ask for Help and Enjoy the Full Benefits of Marriage
- Communicate your needs
It is not enough to complain and vent to your spouse about the problem, you need to specifically state that you need help. Also, tell them exactly what they can do to help. If you need your spouse to make dinner and put the kids to bed on specific days, bring it up so that the two of you can discuss it.
- Show gratitude for the help and support
This may seem like a no-brainer but so many people have a hard time saying “Thank you” to their spouses – especially when it comes to chores. They don’t understand why they need to thank their spouse’s for doing chores like making dinner for the family or putting their own kids to bed.
It’s human nature to want to be appreciated and validated. Thanking your spouse keeps them from feeling taken for granted and motivates them to do more. So if you want to enjoy the benefits of marriage, get into the habit of saying “Thank you.”