It’s surprising how far we’ll go to defend ourselves and our egos. We will lash out, rationalize and basically stop at nothing to justify our ego-based feelings and actions.

Many marriages, way too many, have ended in divorce just because the spouses couldn’t put their ego aside. Here’s a guide to help you avoid this pitfall.

Take the high road

A healthy and happy relationship requires you to be a gracious person & take the high road more often than your ego would like. You need to be patience, tolerant and respectful even if when you feel slighted and disrespected. And you need to do this without feeling angry, resentful and bitter towards your husband or wife.

Acknowledge your mistakes

When you’re not ego-driven, it’s easy to acknowledge and accept your shortcomings and mistakes. You don’t play the blame game or try to excuse your behavior. You apologize readily and sincerely which makes it easier for your spouse to forgive you.

Accept apologies

How do you react when your spouse apologizes? Do you accept the apology begrudgingly because you feel he or she hasn’t suffered or grovelled enough to deserve forgiveness?

The ability to accept an apology and let things go is another sign that you are in control of your ego. Unfortunately, it requires you to be vulnerable which is hard to do.

Keep in mind that accepting an apology doesn’t mean you approve of or have forgotten the offense. It also doesn’t mean that you need to forgive instantly, You can take as much time as you need to heal emotionally and spiritually from the offense.

Be open to a different point of view

When your ego is not in the way, you can listen to and validate your spouse’s opinions and ideas without feeling the need to defend yours. You also do not feel attacked if your partner doesn’t agree with you.

You are not helpless or powerless when it comes to your pride. You don’t exist to serve your ego; your ego exists to serve you and your marriage. So if your ego has been running things, it’s time to put it in timeout and get back in control.