Marriage Advice: How to Come Clean With Your Spouse
Have you been totally honest with your spouse about how much you spent the last time you went shopping? Have you told them that you forgot to do something that they asked you to do? Would you like some marriage advice on how to come clean with your spouse?
Hiding something from your spouse is always a bad idea. If he or she finds out the truth from another source, it can severely damage the trust between the two of you.
However, it’s hard to confess a moral failure. It’s understandable that you don’t want to disappoint your spouse, but you can’t keep lying.
If you are going to come clean about something, you have to tell the whole truth. “Trickle truthing” or lying during your “confession” will only cause more problems in your married life. The sooner you tell the whole truth, the sooner the healing process can begin.
The Right Time
This is not the kind of thing you bring up when there’s something else is going on. Find a time when things are calm and you have enough time for this difficult conversation. However, don’t let “finding the right time” become an excuse to keep the lie going.
Break the news in a respectful and empathetic manner. Be regretful, apologize for your actions and state that you’re ready to work towards rebuilding trust. However, only say these things if you mean them.
The last thing you want to do when you’re coming clean is to try and shift the blame. Focus on what you did not why you did it.
Don’t say things like “at least I’m coming clean” or “at least I didn’t do . . .” Do not go into it expecting forgiveness or understanding.
Be prepared to answer any questions that your spouse might have. If you don’t fill in the gaps with the truth, he or she will fill in those gaps with the worst case scenario.
Those answers are important to the process of rebuilding trust, which means that this is not a one-time conversation. Your significant other may be too shocked to ask questions immediately, but you can be sure that he or she will have some after sleeping on it.
We all know that lies have no place in healthy relationships. However, it’s not easy to tell the truth especially when you don’t know how your spouse will react. This marriage advice makes things a little easier.