Creating a home together is a very intimate act. There’s something very special about working together to create a sanctuary and make your ideas of your ideal home a reality.

However, most marriage advice for newlyweds doesn’t cover this very important aspect of newlywed life. It’s assumed that the couples will figure it out.

While every couple has a different idea about what a home looks and feels like, there are a couple of things that every couple can do to make the entire process a lot less painful.

Ideas, Hopes and Dreams

The first thing you should do as a couple is share your ideas, hopes and dreams of an ideal home with each other. An easy to get this conversation going is to talk about what you liked and disliked about the home you grew up in.

You can also talk about what you loved about your previous places. What made you feel comfortable and at home? Was it the couch, pillows, cozy bed or art on the walls?

In addition to sharing your vision, it’s important to listen to your spouse’s vision. You want to know what your similarities and differences are before you actually start decorating and spending money. Don’t make assumptions.

Collaborate

Creating a home requires you to work together as a team. It’s important that none of you relinquishes your part in the process because this can lead to resentment later in your married life. The last thing you want is for one of you to end up disliking the end product or end up shouldering the entire responsibility of making your new place feel like a home.

It’s perfectly normal to care about some things more than others. For instance, the husband may not care much about the color of the couch or carpet, but he might care about the furniture in the home office.

Having a place that you can both call “home” is an important part of being happily married. And while there are no hard and fast rules for making a new place feel like home, this marriage advice can point you in the right direction.