Today, people want more from their happy marriage than to simply share a home and raise children together. They want the freedom to “find themselves”, express themselves and pursue personal fulfillment while still sharing their lives with their partners.

A marriage that only meets the spouses’ physical and emotional needs is no longer enough. People want their spouses to support them in their journeys to self discovery in their careers, talents, spirituality among other things. To be a good wife or husband today, you need to be able to aid your partner’s personal growth.

If being married is a hindrance to your spouse’s personal growth, they’ll become dissatisfied with married life. Low levels of marital satisfaction can lead to divorce and should be avoided at all costs.

Ways to Support your Spouse’s Personal Growth

See their potential but celebrate their present. It’s important to believe in your spouse’s potential to become a better version of themselves while still celebrating how far they have come. These two actions must go hand in hand if you want a good marriage. Focusing on their potential without celebrating their achievements will make them feel inadequate whereas focusing on their present without seeing their potential will make it seem like you don’t believe in them.

You are not your spouse’s life coach or personal trainer. There’s a big difference between supporting and encouraging your spouse and pushing them to achieve their goals. The former creates a team dynamic and makes it feel like the two of you are in it together while the latter creates a toxic power dynamic.

It’s important to create the sort of dynamic where your spouse feels free to be exactly where they are and free to choose when to begin or halt their journey. You should give them the freedom to fail and you can’t do that or have a happy marriage when you’re acting like a coach or a trainer.