You marry a person that you’re attracted to and then they change their appearance so drastically that the physical attraction is no longer there. What do you do? The truth is that this is a very complicated and delicate issue that needs to be handled delicately.

When you’re talking about someone’s physical attractiveness, you’re bound to encounter strong opinions. Your spouse is certainly not going to like hearing that you are no longer attracted to them. For all you know, your partner is not happy with their appearance either but something is preventing them from making a change.

The last thing you want to do is blurt out an unkind remark that hurts your spouse.  The Bible repeatedly warns against speaking in haste and it’s especially important to keep that in mind in this situation.

How to Deal With This Issue

For starters, identify what exactly has changed about your spouse’s appearance. It is important to pinpoint what you’re not attracted to.  Is it their weight, their clothes, their hair etc?

Secondly, figure out what emotions are hiding behind the loss of attraction. This is important because loss of attraction is sometimes a collection of emotions.

Do you maybe feel disrespected? Do you find yourself questioning whether your spouse even cares about you and physical attraction in your marriage? After all, if they really cared about you they wouldn’t have let themselves go!

You might also find yourself wondering why your spouse won’t change for you. Don’t they think you’re worth it?

The Talk

Eventually, you have to talk to your spouse about it. Start by reassuring them that you love them. Then open your heart and explain how you feel about the specific aspect of their appearance that you’re not happy with. Lastly, ask them if they are willing to commit to making a change and encourage them to seek professional guidance on the issue.

It’s important to keep reassuring your partner of your love for them long after you’ve had this talk. They need to know that while this may have affected physical attraction, it hasn’t affected the foundation of your marriage.