Psychologists have conducted many studies on the reasons why marriages fail and succeed, and they have discovered that there are certain things that happy couples do that other couples don’t do. Knowing what these things are can help you evaluate whether your happy marriage is built to last and help you figure out what you need to work on.

The Way You Fight

Conflict is natural in married life but different people handle conflict differently. However, studies show that couples that last have certain things in common with regard to resolving conflict. For starters, they avoid hitting below the belt and address the issue at hand instead of attacking their partners personally. They focus on the issues instead of focusing on what the other person has done wrong.

The best way to improve how you and your partner “fight” or deal with conflict is to lay down some ground rules. You can agree to take a “timeout” whenever you start getting heated or to only address one issue at a time and as soon as it occurs.

The Way You Love

Happy spouses understand each other’s love languages and are able to meet each other’s expectations of love. They are able to love their partners by doing things that their partners recognize as love.

The Way You Treat Each Other

Successful couples treat each other with generosity and kindness. Generosity brings a couple together and strengthens the connection between them whereas harshness separates them.

Happy people choose to appreciate what the other person is doing right instead of focusing on what they are doing wrong. To find out if you’re on the right track, ask yourself how you would react if your spouse went to the store and forgot to buy one item. Would you be grateful for the things they bought or be angry about the one thing they forgot?

Treating each other with kindness increases the ratio of positive experiences to negative ones, which is the recipe for a healthy relationship and happy marriage.