Every couple wants to keep their relationship exciting and passionate and one of the most popular ways of doing this is through romantic gestures. The thing about these gestures though is that they can be a double edged sword.  They can keep you from falling into a rut of everyday married life but they can also hinder emotional intimacy in the relationship. Here are some examples.

Apology flowers

Apology or “I’m sorry” flowers or gifts have become a romantic norm in our society. However, just because they are popular doesn’t mean they are a good idea.

The truth is that it is easier to give your partner an apology gift rather than have a deep conversation about the real issue. However, the gift doesn’t really resolve the situation, it just cuts out all the necessary communication and skips ahead to the apology.

Such a gift also puts the recipient in an awkward position.  They feel as if they have to forgive their partner even though nothing has actually been fixed. It puts them in a position where they have to choose between being rejecting the apology gift and looking ungrateful or accepting it and being resentful about the fact that they didn’t actually get an apology. Obviously it’s possible to give an apology gift and still have a sincere conversation about the issue, but that’s not what many people do.

Date nights and romantic weekends

Date nights and romantic weekends are a wonderful idea.  However, they can create the illusion that you’re spending a lot of quality time together when all you’re really getting is a couple of hours a week.

Couples who have a regular date night may feel as if they don’t have to go out of their way to spend more quality time with each other during the rest of the week. This is a huge mistake because married life is not made up of date nights and romantic getaways.  It is made up of all the other times in between when you have dinner, take a walk or go grocery shopping together as a couple.

These are just two examples of how too many romantic gestures can keep you from having a deeper relationship with your spouse. However, they are not meant to discourage you from being romantic but to remind you not to get caught the shallowness of the gestures.