How do you feel about your husband or wife looking through your phone, emails or credit card statements? Some people believe that it is never okay spy on a spouse and that it is a breach of trust in a relationship. Others believe that it is completely justified especially if there are signs of cheating or other forms of dishonesty.

No matter what your beliefs are about spying on your spouse, it is possible to set up your marriage in a way that snooping isn’t necessary.  The way to do this is by having a transparent marriage and being honest about everything.

Transparency in Marriage

If you spouse has unlimited access to your phone, email, social media, schedule and credit card statements, he or she will not be tempted to spy on you. But if you take your phone with you everywhere you go, won’t check your email if your spouse is in the room and are secretive about your whereabouts, your spouse will want to check up on you.

You may be wondering why the onus is on you to eliminate the need for spying. Why can’t your spouse just trust you?

The truth is that you can’t expect your spouse to trust you blindly. He or she has every right to assess whether or not you deserve their trust. You have to be a trustworthy person in order for your spouse to be trusting.

Trust in a relationship is best described as mindful trust. This means that both spouses go into the relationship with their eyes open and assess each other’s behavior before deciding whether or not to trust.

Some people believe that spying on a partner is wrong while others believe it is okay. Regardless of what your beliefs are, the best way to deal with the issue of snooping and related marital problems is to have a transparent marriage. This builds the right kind of trust in a relationship.