In today’s society, relying on someone else is seen as a bad thing, even when that someone is your husband or wife. Self-reliance is seen as the ultimate measure of strength and self worth, so many people are afraid to accept help and support.

The thing about self reliance though is that it doesn’t make for a happy marriage. Christian marriage is based entirely on the biblical principle of two becoming one, and being too self sufficient can hinder that.

Examine your beliefs

What are your thoughts and beliefs regarding interdependence in marriage? Do you have trouble accepting help and support from your spouse? If you cringe at the idea of needing your spouse’s help, especially with regard to sensitive issues such as finances and health issues, it may be time to rethink your beliefs.

Accept your partner’s support

It is important to make your spouse feel needed by accepting their help even when you are perfectly capable of doing it on your own. It may not seem like a big deal but it can make your spouse feel closer to you and boost their self esteem. On the other hand, saying “no” to your partner’s offer to help can leave them feeling as if they are not all that important to you.

Don’t make decisions alone

Decision making is one area where many people are way too self-reliant. People will make huge financial or life decisions without involving their spouses and not realize what they’ve done until their spouses get angry about it.

All couples should know and adhere to a policy of joint agreement in their married life. This means that they should resist making important decisions without their spouse’s enthusiastic agreement. This ensures that everyone’s feelings, opinions and needs are given the weight they deserve.

While there’s nothing wrong with being self reliant and having a sense of inner completeness, it is important to give your partner room to be your partner. Married life is all about interdependence so it’s perfectly okay to need your partner’s help and support.