There are times when talking about your marital problems with your spouse only leads to frustration and more conflict. What do you do in such cases? Do you just abandon communication in marriage all together and start giving your spouse the silent treatment?

The truth is that just because verbal communication is not working doesn’t mean that you should stop trying to communicate. It just means that it’s time for less talk and more action.

Resist the Urge to be Passive Aggressive

The way you behave towards your partner when the two of you are having a relationship issue can escalate or deescalate a situation. Rolling your eyes, storming out, slamming doors or even giving your spouse the silent treatment are all inflammatory actions that can make a bad situation worse. You could be saying all the right things to your partner’s face and then undoing all your hard work by acting passive-aggressively towards him.

If you are really committed to resolving your issues, resist the urge to behave in an inflammatory way towards your partner. Otherwise, no amount of talking will resolve your issues.

Be Kind and Compassionate

Being kind and compassionate towards your spouse when you’re having marital problems can change the energy between the two of you.  It communicates that you are not judging them and you do not by any chance think any less of them because of their point of view. This in turn encourages them to make an effort to see where you are coming from and realize your feelings and opinions are not necessarily wrong, just different.

It is also important to be kind to yourself. Just because you are having marriage problems doesn’t mean that you are a bad spouse, or that the two of you are incompatible or even that your marriage is doomed. Don’t give in to the temptation to place a lot more importance on the issues than they deserve.

If you have tried talking about your marital problems and it doesn’t seem to be working, it may be time to evaluate your non-verbal communication. You could be sabotaging the conflict resolution process with your body language and actions.