Marriage counseling is a great resource for any couple that wants to learn how to fix a marriage and restore it to its former glory. However, counseling only works if the participants go into it with the right attitude, so what do you do when your spouse won’t go to counseling?

Why Won’t Your Spouse Go To Counseling?

One reason why your spouse might be saying no to counseling is denial. He or she might believe that counseling should be reserved for very serious marital problems and since your problems “aren’t that bad,” you can resolve them by yourselves

Another reason why your spouse might reject the idea of seeking professional help is that they are not hurting as much as you are. Your problems are not as much of a big deal to them as they are to you.

Pride is another reason that doesn’t get as much attention as it should. It’s possible that your partner is too proud to admit that there is something wrong with your marriage or too proud to ask for help.

Lastly, your spouse might be worried about the financial side of it. Seeing a marriage and family therapist can be quite costly and not everyone can afford it. However, marriage counseling doesn’t have to cost obscene amounts of money. Most churches, for instance, offer free advice on how to fix a marriage to their congregations.

Knowing why your spouse won’t go to counseling can help you to respond to their concerns about seeking marital help and convince them to go. However, if your spouse stills says no after you have gone out of your way to address their concerns, don’t give up.

Go by Yourself

Just because your spouse isn’t willing to go to marriage counseling doesn’t mean that you have to give up as well. It is perfectly fine to go by yourself. You may not be able to change your spouse but you can always change yourself.

Working on yourself and learning how to be a better wife or husband can inspire your spouse to do the same. It can also break the cycle of unhappiness and make your marriage significantly better.

Do it Yourselves

This is not to trivialize the importance of marital counseling, but if your spouse won’t go to counseling, you can’t exactly force them to. What you can do is find an alternative way of acquiring the tools you need to save your marriage. There are tons of reliable resources on how to fix a marriage out there. They come in many forms including books, DVD’s, seminars and retreats. It up to you to do the research and find resources that speak to your specific situation.