The decision to file bankruptcy is never an easy one. It may relieve old financial pressures but it is by no means a cure-all for financial and allied marital problems.

The reality of bankruptcy often puts a strain on the marriage. Spouses may lay blame on each other as they struggle to come to terms with their new situation, or the person who feels most responsible for the bankruptcy may get caught up in a web of guilt, shame and despair, which can lead to depression.

Moving on

Staying married is hard enough when everything is going well so it can be extremely difficult when you are in serious financial trouble.

If you to have a good marriage after filing bankruptcy, you must be prepared to learn the lessons of bankruptcy. This means that you cannot continue to spend and manage money like you did before; otherwise, you will soon be facing financial problems once again.

Figure out how you went bankrupt in the first place. Was it the result of bad budgeting and overspending or was it due to job loss and unexpected reduction in income? Whatever the reason, you need to be completely honest with yourselves.

Establish common financial goals and develop a budget. Having common financial goals and creating a budget together fosters a sense of team work. Team work nips fights over finances in the bud, and the resulting peace often spills over into other areas of the marriage and other marital problems.

Discuss major purchase decisions but give each other some leeway on personal spending.  The last thing any of you should do after filing bankruptcy is make a major financial decision without consulting each other. However, this doesn’t mean that you have to confer on every single purchase.

It is important to understand that in marriage, money often represents power, and both of you need to feel that you have some sort of power over your finances. This way, you are more likely to take responsibility and ensure that the two of you do not deviate from the plan.

You can institute an allowance system where you each get a set amount of money to spend each month. Alternatively, you can agree than you do not need to confer with each other on purchases below a certain amount.

Review your budget and finances at least once a month. This helps you to check whether you are staying on track with your spending so that you can adjust it if necessary. It also gives you an opportunity to talk about any concerns that you might have.

To prevent history from repeating itself, you need to come up with a plan on how to handle finances and marital problems after you have filed bankruptcy.  The above tips can help you do that.