Stop Fighting Over Nothing: Marriage Tips
Do sometimes get into fights over nothing? If your answer is “yes” these marriage tips are for you.
Bickering and arguing over “nothing” is one of the most common marital problems. A harmless comment can easily snowball into a huge argument depending on how it is said and perceived. Improper phrasing or tone of voice can make even the most innocuous comment sound like a complaint or criticism. On the other hand, a civil discussion can easily turn into an argument if one person becomes defensive.
Be Self Aware
Self awareness keeps you from snapping at your spouse when you are in a bad mood. You can either warn your spouse in advance so that they know that you are not mad at them or find a way to redirect your negative energy – such as taking a nap or watching TV.
Not every conversation has to turn into a ping-pong of words. When couples fight about nothing it is usually because they are not listening to what the other person is saying and are just waiting their turn to talk. If they were truly listening, they would be able to know when their spouse is just making an offhand comment.
Figure Out What The Fights Are Really About
Fights over “nothing” are usually fights over unresolved relationship issues. Assuming criticism where none intended and defensiveness are usually a result of underlying resentment that needs to be dealt with.
To figure out these underlying issues, you need to identify the triggers that precede these fights; you might see a pattern. A trigger anything that causes your spouse to relive past hurt or betrayal. If you can’t figure it out by your own, seek couples therapy. The therapist will not only help you identify these underlying issues but also give you some marriage tips.
Being sarcastic is not the same as being as being witty. Sarcasm is a hurtful way of speaking that is rooted in resentment and distrust. If you get into the habit of being sarcastic towards your spouse, you may not be able to stop yourself even when the situation calls for empathy and kindness rather than scorn and mockery.
Stop fighting over nothing by following these marriage tips.