Leave, Cleave and Become One – Marriage Advice for Newlyweds
Every newlywed couple wants to put their best foot forward, and one way to do that is to know God’s blueprint for marriage by heart.
“A man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife: and they shall be one flesh” – (Genesis 2:24-25)
This scripture outlines three main principles – leaving, cleaving and becoming one – and is an invaluable piece of marital advice for newlyweds.
Leaving your family means making an emotional, physical and spiritual break from them. It has nothing to do with abandoning or forsaking your family, or moving across the country and living thousands of miles away from them.
The most important thing is to prioritize your new family over your “old” one. Your relationships with your parents need to take a backseat to your relationship with your partner. Otherwise your ability to bond as a newlywed couple and enjoy the benefits of marriage will be affected.
Your partner’s ideas and opinions should also take precedence over your parent’s ideas and opinions. You can still ask for their advice but make it clear that you and your spouse have the final say.
Try, as much as possible, not to be primarily dependent on your parents for financial support. You may ask for a little financial help here and there but aim to provide for yourselves.
Lastly, refrain from comparing your wife or husband to your mother or father. Just because your new wife does not cook, clean or nurture you like your mother used to, or your new husband is not as handy around the house as your father was, doesn’t mean that he or she is not a good partner.
Cleaving unto your partner simply means sticking to your partner. This is the stage where two become one and it can only be successful if the “leaving stage” was successful.
Cleaving is all about developing an intimate bond with each other and making a lifelong commitment to each other. This bond must be maintained through sickness, financial crises and marital problems.
When you cleave unto each other, you become dependent on each other. You become each other’s primary source of affection, approval and council.
3. Becoming One
When you become one with your spouse, you complement each other. Your communication, thinking and emotional patterns fit together perfectly to form a whole.
It goes without saying that this stage requires a lot of hard work. Both of you must seek to understand and embrace your differences so that you can adjust your behavior as necessary.
True marital unity can only be achieved through realizing that none of you is more important than the other. Your talents, roles and tasks within the marriage are of equal importance.
You should also develop mutual goals and plans. This doesn’t mean forgetting your individual goals but rather creating a mutual plan that accommodates your individual plans.
When you are a newly married couple, you get so much marital advice for newlyweds that it can be difficult to keep up. Your best bet is to stick to God’s blue print of marriage i.e. leave, cleave and become one.