The human mind is one of the worst relationship killers. It can bring even the happiest of marriages crashing down. How? Through the power of thought.

Having a positive mental attitude is a necessity in marriage. It keeps the doubt, mistrust, fear, insecurity and selfishness among other negative emotions away.  Every married person should work towards having a positive outlook towards their marriage and life in general.  It is also necessary to understand what causes negativity in marriage so that actively avoid those things.

What causes negativity in marriage?

Negativity in marriage often comes from a place of insecurity and fear. People who are ruled by fear and insecurity are constantly thinking of worst case scenarios. Why? They want to feel prepared; just in case. Unfortunately, this form of “preparation” tends to increase anxiety.

Negativity can also be a sign of sub-optimal mental and spiritual health. For instance, negative thoughts are a well known sign of depression. Also, you are more likely to feel overwhelmed by everyday marital problems when your relationship with God is strained.

Now that you know what causes negativity in marriage, let’s find out how to get rid of it.

How to get rid of negativity in marriage

Improving your mental and spiritual health is the first step to ridding you marriage of negativity. Without good mental and spiritual health, all other effort is wasted. Many people will need counseling in this first step so do not hesitate to seek help if you need it.

Overcoming your fears and insecurities is something that you should do for yourself and for your spouse. To overcome fears and insecurities, you need to examine them carefully and determine how accurate and useful they are in your current situation. This is especially important if you are prone to thinking about worst-case scenarios. It is easier to discard fears and insecurities after you have questioned them and found them irrational or irrelevant to your current situation.

Getting to know each other better can go a long way in eliminating doubts and mistrust in marriage. You need to get to a place where you know your spouse so well that you can predict how they will react to certain situations. This helps you to trust your spouse more and stops you from making false accusations.

This week, try and identify one way in which your thoughts may be poisoning your healthy relationship with your spouse and how you can improve the situation with a positive mental attitude.