A happy marriage is a conscious choice. People don’t just wake up one morning and find themselves happily married.  They make a conscious decision to look beyond the problems in their relationship and focus on the simple pleasures of marriage. This is the only sure way to happiness.

Unfortunately, finding things to complain about is much easier than finding things to be happy about. This is due to our brains’ negativity bias. Human brains react more strongly and are more likely to remember negative incidents. This bias is necessary because it keeps us out of harm’s way. However, it can be difficult to override this bias in pursuit of happiness. You have to train your brain to focus on little positive experiences.

Marriage Tips: How to Find Things to Be Happy About

• Enjoy the present moment – Do you always look toward tomorrow for happiness? The trouble with this mindset is that there will never be a time when everything is perfect. If you want to be happy, begin appreciating whatever you have. Remember, gratitude brings abundance.

• Enjoy the little things – Small positive experiences happen to us all the time but we rarely take notice due to our brains’ negativity bias. To override the bias, you must make a conscious effort enjoy the little things such as spending time with kids or pets or walking on the beach.

• There’s always tomorrow – If you are obsessed with getting everything right today, you will be miserable. The best way to look at it is that tomorrow will be an opportunity to improve. So set small attainable goals that will get you closer to your goal of a happy marriage with each passing day. You’ll be surprised how much achieving these small goals can boost self your confidence and make you happier.

• Be the person you want to be – It is common to feel as if your current situation is holding you back from being the person you want to be. For instance, you may feel as if your current financial situation is keeping you from being adventurous and having fun as a couple. What you don’t realize is that you can be the person you want to be regardless of your current situation. You can have fun and be adventurous without spending money.

If you want to laugh your way to a happy marriage, you need to actively look for things to be happy about. This isn’t easy given that the human brain is hardwired to remember negative experiences more than positive ones. However, if you can put in the work, you can have a happy marriage.