It’s easy to say “I’m sorry”, even when you do not mean it. Sometimes, it is the easiest way to get out of a sticky situation and keep peace in the marriage. However, those words alone do not constitute a sincere apology. Many married couples can see through each other’s lies, and apologizing for the sake of peace rarely works. Your spouse will know if you are not truly remorseful and this could hurt your healthy relationship.

Know What you are Apologizing for

Want to know how to save a relationship with an apology? Don’t rush to apologize if you’re not so sure what you are apologizing for. It is bound to sound insincere. Take the time to figure out exactly why your partner is upset and then reference this in your apology. When you know exactly what you did wrong, you will be less likely to repeat it.

Timing is Everything

The timing of an apology can make it seem more or less authentic. If you apologize too early, your spouse might still be angry and unwilling to accept your apology. On the other hand, if you wait too long, the apology might seem like an afterthought. The best time to apologize is after your spouse has had a chance to vent and has calmed down.

Apologize in Person

You should always apologize in person whenever possible. It is hard to sound authentic and caring on phone, email or voice mail. When you apologize in person, you can use your body language to express how sorry you are. Also, you can tell how your spouse really feels about your apology by reading his or her body language.

Never ask a third party to apologize on your behalf. It may seem easier but it will probably make you seem as if you don’t care. It is better to take the time to apologize in person.

Take Responsibility

When you apologize, do not try to shift blame. Take full responsibility for your actions. Regardless of how your spouse may have contributed to the situation, do not point out his or her faults in your apology. Doing so could ruin your entire apology.

Your Words Should Match your Actions

If you are truly sorry, you will be careful not to repeat the same mistake. Nothing says insincere like repeating the same mistake over and over again.

A sincere apology can go a long way in diffusing tense situations within a marriage and building a healthy relationship. For an apology to sound authentic, you should acknowledge your faults, apologize for them and then make a commitment not to repeat the same mistakes.