How well do you know your spouse? A happy marriage cannot be built on ignorance, and therefore, communication in relationships is an absolute necessity. At the very least, husbands and wives should be able to discuss their likes and dislikes openly. These conversations will not only bring them closer together, but also give them invaluable information that they can use to plan romantic surprises for each other.

You may think that you already know your partner’s likes and dislikes and that this is advice for newlyweds, but these things are not static. They may have changed or you may have forgotten some of them.

Start by finding out simple things about each other such as favorite color, music, song, meal, sport, author and poet among others. You don’t necessary need to have long conversations in order to get this information. If you don’t have too much time, you can develop a checklist for your spouse to fill. Let him or her know that you are planning a surprise and need that information to pull it off. That will definitely be a great motivator. You will also have a written record just in case you need to refer to it later on.

However, if you have more time on your hands, it’s better to talk about these things with your spouse. There are ways to flesh out these conversations so that you don’t end up playing twenty questions. For instance, when you ask your spouse about his or her favorite food, don’t forget to also ask about his or her favorite restaurant, snacks, drinks, ice cream flavor, fruit and vegetable. The same goes for favorite movie. If you simply ask, “what is your favorite movie?” your efforts for communication in relationships may be met by awkward silence. However, if you ask about your partner’s favorite comedy, musical, action movie, romantic movie, TV show and play, while also offering information on your own favorites, you may get a better response. You can even take it a step further and find out about favorite actors and actress.

Similarly, if you are discussing art, talk about favorite artists, artwork, painting and sculpture. Sports also make for a wonderful conversation because you can talk about favorite sports, players and teams. Apply this technique to any other topic you wish to discuss and you’ll be surprised just how much you enjoy learning more about your partner and communication in relationships.