If you have just started learning how to rekindle romance in your marriage, you are probably beside yourself with excitement. You can’t wait to try out all the wonderful ideas that you have learnt. However, it is important to remember that building a happy marriage takes time.  Romance, like anything else worth having, cannot be rushed.

Trying to do too much too fast will burn you out. You cannot work on all your faults at once or get rid of all your relationships problems overnight. If you try to, you’ll probably get frustrated because things are not changing fast enough. This could cause you to give up on building a healthy relationship.

How to Pace Yourself in Romance

Do not compare yourself to other married couples. It’s one of the worst things that you can do when you are on a journey to self improvement. You may feel better in the short run, especially if the couple you are comparing yourself to is doing much worse, but with time, you will begin to feel the pressure to keep up with the joneses. So if you catch yourself doing these comparisons, pause, acknowledge the thoughts and consciously change focus.

Appreciating the little things is another great way to pace yourself. You don’t need a grand romantic gesture everyday in order to have a happy marriage. Simple day to day tasks can be just as romantic if you put your mind to it. For instance, a beautiful stroll on the beach can be just as romantic as an expensive dinner at your favorite restaurant. Romance should be more about expressing what your feelings for your spouse and less about the gestures.

Romance should be an option not an obligation. Most married couples adhere to a bland and generic form of romance that involves honoring Valentine’s Day, birthdays and anniversaries because they have to.  While it is important to honor these days, couples that choose to be romantic because they want to are more enviable. Therefore, if you are feeling obligated to be romantic towards your partner, take a step back and evaluate. You might find that your partner appreciates the little things such as spontaneous phone calls more than the expensive and materialistic gifts. With a simple change of attitude, any couple can learn how to fix a relationship and build a happy marriage without burning themselves out.