Relationship Tips for a Happy Marriage Part 78: Follow Your Instincts
A study by scientists from Florida State University recently revealed that newlyweds always know on a subconscious level whether or not their marriage is going to work. You are probably wondering how this is possible. The truth is that your first instinct about a person or a relationship is often always right.
What is Instinct Anyway?
Although gut feeling often seems to arise from a mysterious source, it is actually a form of unconscious reasoning. As we accumulate knowledge, our brains begin to recognize patterns in the information. These patterns are stored in our long term memories and this enables us to instantly recognize familiar designs when we encounter new information. This instant recognition is what we refer to as gut feeling, intuition or instinct.
What to do with your Gut Feeling About Your Marriage
Following your instincts blindly or making decisions based solely on your gut feeling isn’t always a good idea. You should verify your gut feeling before you begin to trust it. This ensures that you do not mistake anxiety or enthusiasm for instinct.
Meditation is always a great way to verify that what you are feeling is really your instinct. Simply sit in a quiet place and clear your mind. Think about your relationship issues and come up with a few possible solutions for each issue.
Now think about each of the solutions separately while paying attention to how your body feels with each thought. Do you experience an unpleasant tightness in your throat, chest and gut or a pleasant, relaxed and warm feeling? Needless to say, the right decision should feel good.
Discussing your instincts with your spouse can help you figure out which instincts you should trust. Regardless of what your gut feeling tells you, you should never accuse your spouse without sufficient evidence. This will only create an uncomfortable environment of mistrust in your relationship.
Instead, let your spouse know that you have a feeling something is not right. If you have any concerns, bring them up in a non-accusatory tone. For instance, you could say, “I’m concerned that you no longer call me as much as you used to.”
What is the Risk in Following Your Instinct?
Do not follow you instinct unless you can answer this question. For some relationship issues, such as infidelity, the risk that comes with following your instinct blindly is too high. In these cases, combining both rational thought and instinct will help you to come up with several strategies on how to fix a relationship.