Relationship Tips for a Happy Marriage Part 34: Realistic Expectations
The root causes of most, if not all, relationship problems are unmet expectations. If a couple is to have a happy marriage their expectations must be as close as possible to reality.
First things first, your spouse is not a mind reader. You cannot possibly expect him or her to know how you feel or think about a certain issue. What you expect of your spouse is likely influenced by your upbringing which he or she may not share. The only way to avoid disappointment and frustration is to keep your expectations realistic and communicate them clearly to your partner.
What to Expect in Marriage
- As long as you stay married, you’ll always have relationship problems so don’t let marital conflict get you down. What really matters is how you handle these issues.
- Things won’t always go as planned so be patient. Maybe you thought you would be living in your own home by now but it hasn’t happened yet. Blaming your partner isn’t going to help especially if he or she is working hard to ensure you both achieve your dreams. Just be patient.
- Expect disappointments. Marriage is a union between two flawed individuals so sometimes your partner won’t live up to your expectations no matter how realistic they are. Your partner cannot possibly be the answer to all your problems so be open to forgiving him or her when he lets you down.
- Your spouse will annoy you from time to time. When dating couples rarely notice their mate’s annoying habits. However after marriage, these annoying habits appear magnified and you begin to notice them a lot more. Your partner will not automatically know what you find annoying so if it really bothers you, talk to him or her about it.
- At times, it will feel as if your partner is not picking up his or her slack. As a wife you may feel as if you are the only one who cooks, cleans and does household chores. As a husband you may feel weighed down by the responsibility of providing for your family. This could cause both of you to feel unappreciated. When this happens, have a talk about sharing responsibilities. Get some help with the household chores or babysitting if you need it.
- You won’t always agree with your partner’s opinions and decisions. However, you must respect his or her right to voice opinions and make decisions. You could always discuss your differences and iron them out.
- Both of you will change physically with time due to aging and other factors such as child birth. This might affect your attraction towards your partner and vice versa.
- It will take time for your partner to become your soul mate. Therefore, if you think you married your soul mate, you may be in for a rude shock. A soul mate is someone you become after you have been married for a long time. Your spouse will not be able to naturally fulfill all your needs as soon as you get married but with time they will get better at it.
The truth is that there is no way to know exactly what to expect from your partner. However, the above tips can help you redefine your marriage expectations and bring them closer to reality. This will make it easier for you to deal with relationship problems when they arise.