Many couples who say “I love you” to one another all the time have a surprisingly hard time saying “I’m sorry”.  What they don’t realize is that a sincere apology can be quite powerful against many relationship problems .  A sincere ‘I’m Sorry’ connects with the wronged party and motivates them to forgive.

The Art of the Apology

Crafting an effective apology that inspires forgiveness is an art and mastering it could mean a lifetime of  happy, healthy relationships.

If you want to give an effective apology, begin by admitting responsibility for  any damage caused. This works better than attempting to justify your actions which could be taken to be a sign of arrogance.  However, if you don’t think you did anything wrong, you may not be ready to apologize just yet. It’s hard to give a sincere apology when you believe you are completely innocent.

Recognizing and understanding the nature of your mistake and the impact it has on your partner helps you to be specific in your apology. It helps you avoid saying things like “I’m sorry if I …” The words ‘if’ and ‘but’ should never feature anywhere in your apology as they make it sound half-hearted.

Even when you have a truly valid reason for your actions, it is better to apologize first and then offer an explanation. Lastly, an effective apology should be heartfelt and express some magnitude of remorse..

Why should you apologize?

• As mentioned earlier, a sincere apology can go a long way in solving relationship problems and restoring a damaged relationship.  It brings forgiveness and healing between spouses eliminating grudges and bitterness.
• Apologizing also helps to get rid of a guilty conscience, which is beneficial to the offender. A guilty conscience can damage one’s self –esteem  and eventually bring about more marital problems.
• Apologizing helps to maintain respect between you and your spouse by giving the offended party the power to forgive.
• Being remorseful about your actions builds trust between you and your partner. It allows him or her to feel secure in the fact that you did not mean to hurt them and are not going to let it happen again.

Learning to apologize effectively takes time and practice. With time, you will be able to say ‘I’m sorry’ more easily and frequently whenever you do something wrong. You’ll also find that your partner forgives you more easily and therefore you are able to avoid additional relationship problems and tension.