Secrets To A Happier Marriage Part 1: The Art Of Love
Plight Of The “Happy Marriage”
More and more couples are seeking help from marriage and family therapists in a desperate attempt to be happy again.
What about you – are you and your spouse happy? Are you happy with your marriage? And are you happy with each other? So many couples struggle today with saving their marriages and being/staying happily married.
Keeping Love Alive
I think husbands and wives struggle more than they need to in their relationships with each other. By no means am I saying that having a happy marriage is a piece of cake, but it is easier than most people realize. The notion of being happily married isn’t an extinct concept yet.
Disagreements And Conflicts
People in conflict tend to feel less happy, at least in the moment. But you know as well as I that disagreements are a part of life – they can sour our spirit or strengthen our soul.
We become stronger when we strive to understand our spouse. Understanding their thoughts and feelings is a pathway to marital happiness.
When surveyed, married couples admit they should have given more energy and focus to communicating better BEFORE they got married. Maybe so. Who knows. We can’t change the past but we can learn from it. So there’s no better time than right now to do what it takes to understand our spouse.
Assuming A Little Too Much Are We?
We assume we know what our spouse is feeling and thinking or what they mean when they talk to us. And we assume that they know what we think and feel.
Never assume. Listen to what they are saying – don’t just “hear” the words coming out of their mouth. Acknowledge what they’ve said – share with them what you think they’re trying to say.
Everyone likes to be appreciated. We shouldn’t expect our spouse to do certain things for us because it’s their “job.” Let them know how much you appreciate them. Say “thank you” once-in-a-while, leave them a note or card, buy some flowers, or call them out of the blue for no other reason than to say how much you appreciate them as a person and for everything they do.
Give A Gentle Answer
The Bible says that a gentle answer turns away wrath. If you want your marriage to blow up in your face, then all you have to do is fight fire with fire.
But, if you want to be happy again, then use kind words, be loving and forgive often.
Catch Your Spouse Doing…
…something right for a change!
How often do we catch people doing something wrong? Who wants to be around someone who finds fault all of the time? Not me!
Here’s a question: Which do you do more – find fault with your spouse or find and affirm the good in them?
Overlook their shortcomings and zero in on their beauty.
Let them know how much they matter to you – raise their self-worth; acknowledge them often.
Be your spouse’s source of unconditional love.
Imagine how your marriage might change if your spouse perceived you as a source of unconditional, non-judgmental love. Think you both might be a little happier? Absolutely. Hey, listen, if a dog can shower people with unconditional love then so can we.
These are just a few “secrets” for staying happily married and being madly in love. How many of them are alive and well in your marriage? Here’s the good news: They can be starting right now. All you have to do is decide.