Even healthy couples have disagreements and marital conflict.

But when does marital conflict become harmful? When angry eruptions become frequent.

It’s okay and even normal to become angry or upset with your spouse from time to time. But strive to maintain peace and harmony in your  relationship.

There are effective ways to manage fights and marital conflict for a happier relationship.

When you think about it, there really are no winners in a fight only losers because both people get hurt. And if a couple has children then they can become the biggest losers of all.

Marital conflict and fights can wound a relationship, especially when extreme emotions are manifested.

Stinging words cannot be taken back. Sometimes in the heat of the moment a spouse says something mean just to be hurtful — things they don’t really even believe or feel.

But once spoken, they cannot be unsaid; scars remain.

Isn’t it crazy how the pettiest things can start a fight that escalates into a heated issue where both spouses respond meanly to each other?

This wounds, bruises and damages a marriage.

Apply the Golden Rule when it comes to relating to your spouse, “Don’t do unto your spouse what you don’t want your spouse to do unto you.”

In fact, try this simple exercise to experience the full impact of that simple rule: Put your spouse’s name in the sentence where it says “spouse.” So if your husband’s name is John, it would read like this: “Don’t do unto John what you wouldn’t want John to do unto you.”

Strive to choose your words carefully so as to avoid using offensive, accusatory language that diminishes or belittles your partner, lowering their sense of self-worth and perceived value to you.

Even when your emotions become inflamed, refrain from saying foolish things for the sake of winning an argument. And whatever you do, don’t dredge up past issues during an argument as it’ll only worsens marital conflict.

Focus on the issue at hand; don’t relive past conflicts.

Remember, as a general rule of thumb, there are no true winners when a husband and wife have a knock down, drag out fight. It only drives them apart.

The last thing you want or need is a wall of separation between you and your spouse that was created because of an immature, rash way of handling a disagreement.

Treat each other the way you want to be treated…touched…spoken to…and listened to.

This deepens your bond of intimacy. You will grow closer to one another. And you will enjoy a caring relationship that is filled with happiness and minimal amounts of marital conflict because you’ve learned how to manage fights in ways that build up instead tear down.