Wish you had less conflict with your spouse?

Tired of the arguing, the tension, the repeated fights over the same things?

You’re not alone. And while every couple is different, here are two common reasons couples end up fighting more than they want to…along with a few simple ways to reduce the conflict.

1. You’re Constantly Kicking Over Hornets’ Nests

Here’s what I mean:

Maybe you’re a Republican and your spouse is a Democrat (or vice versa). You already know how quickly an “innocent” comment can spiral into a heated debate that explodes into a full-blown argument.

You’ve lived it before, and yet, somehow, it happens again.

Some topics are just argument triggers. And sometimes, the healthiest thing to do is to avoid them altogether… at least for now.

Now, to be clear: certain issues do need to be worked through, even if they’re uncomfortable or emotionally charged. If you and your spouse find yourselves getting stuck in the same place over and over again, it might be time to bring in a trusted marriage counselor or coach. A third party can help you work through difficult conversations in a way that’s productive…not explosive.

But for the most part?
If you know a topic is a guaranteed argument starter, step around the hornets’ nest — don’t kick it.

2. You Might Just Be Bored

This one may surprise you… But boredom can be a sneaky cause of conflict in marriage.

Believe it or not, there are times when a bored husband or wife will pick a fight just to stir things up…not because there’s a real issue, but because the relationship feels dull, stale, or lifeless.

It’s not that they want to argue…it’s just that fighting feels like something in a season where everything else feels flat.

So if you and your spouse have been arguing more than usual, take a step back and ask yourself:
Has our relationship become too routine? Too predictable? Too dull?

Because there are way more fun and healthy ways to shake things up than fighting.

The Bottom Line

Your marriage doesn’t have to feel like a battlefield. Here are three takeaways that can lower conflict and bring back connection:

1. Avoid topics that trigger arguments — don’t invite unnecessary drama
2. Seek help to work through the big, important stuff in a productive way
3. Intentionally add variety and fun back into your relationship

Conflict doesn’t have to be the main form of communication in your marriage.
With a little awareness and a few small changes, you can turn the volume down on the fighting — and turn up the joy again.