Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Experts say that about 80% of our thoughts are negative.

If that’s anywhere near accurate, it’s safe to say that most of our self-talk is negative, too.

How do you imagine this might affect the quality of your marriage, your perception of your spouse, and their intentions?

Positive Self-Talk for a Better Marriage

Thoughts and self-talk are rooted in feelings, not facts, yet we convince ourselves that what we think and say to ourselves is true. 

Not so. 

A better marriage starts with you, and it begins in your mind.

You’re in charge of your feelings; change your feelings about something, and you will change your thoughts and self-talk. 

So maybe it’s time to rewrite the story you’ve convinced yourself is true about your spouse. 

Do you realize you can shape your marriage with loving words and positive intentions by what you believe is true? Don’t stick your head in the sand and ignore legitimate issues. But don’t create warped conclusions in your mind by letting your feelings get the best of you and kidnap your rational thinking. 

You have the power to infuse your marriage with positive energy; your influence can be reassuring and uplifting.

Healthy Self-Talk for a Happy Marriage

How much of your feelings and self-talk regarding your marriage are negative?

If you struggle with negative energy and pessimistic thoughts about your spouse and marriage, it needs to change.

Here’s a list of positive self-talk statements to be a less toxic and more optimistic spouse. Your relationship is as healthy as you make it, barring issues that might require professional therapy, like an abusive marriage or a narcissistic spouse.

Imagine the kind of marriage that might be yours if you immediately replaced a negative self-talk statement with one of these positive ones the moment you catch yourself being negative: 

I am madly in love with my spouse.

I strive daily to nourish and grow the love my spouse and I share.

I am starting to fall more and more in love with my partner daily.

I am happy with my partner and will do everything possible to protect our happiness. 

I respect my spouse deeply.

I am safe with my spouse. 

I am entirely myself and vulnerable whenever I am with my partner.

I am free to communicate my needs and wants clearly.

I set boundaries to guard my highest priorities.

I always consider my partner’s feelings and perspective.

I strive daily to create a healthy relationship with my partner.

I am going to be a wonderful spouse to my partner.

I treat my spouse with care and respect.

I am growing closer to my spouse daily. 

I am worthy and deserving of a healthy relationship.

What my spouse says is deeply important to me.

One of my strengths is honest communication.

I don’t avoid facing issues that are harming my marriage. 

Building a healthy and happy relationship is worth all my energy and effort. 

I will do whatever it takes to have a healthy marriage that flourishes. 

These are just a few positive self-talk statements; you can come up with dozens more on your own. 

And if you catch yourself slipping into negative self-talk about your spouse, replace those immediately with something positive. 

You can’t control your spouse, but you can control yourself. So choose positive thoughts and self-talk statements that support your relationship and unlock your healthiest and happiest marriage.