(Because during the holidays, it’s not just about what we give — it’s about who we share it with.)

The holiday season is in full swing. Presents are being wrapped, lights are gleaming, and schedules are packed. Yet, in the flurry of activity, one thing often slips through the cracks: meaningful time together. Ask yourself: Are you truly happy with how much time you and your spouse are spending together? If you answered “well… not really,” you’re far from alone.

Are You Time-Deprived in Your Marriage?

If you’re in a “typical” marriage, chances are you are time-deprived. Not simply in the same room while doing different things, but actively engaged with one another: playing, talking, dreaming, connecting. According to research, married parents in the U.S. report spending on average only 2.0 hours in leisure activities with each other per day — meaning time just the two of you, free from kids, chores and distractions. Another study reported in “Psychology Today” found that couples without children average about 3.33 hours alone together each day — far less than you might assume.  

And the holiday season? It tends to bring extra demands: family gatherings, errands, extra work, and sometimes less downtime. The irony: when time is most precious, we’re often least intentional about how we use it with our spouse.

A Simple 10-Minute Holiday Gift

Here’s a tip to start turning things around this week: over the next 7 days, give yourselves the gift of 10 minutes together each day without talking about work, kids or household chores. Just 10 minutes. Engage with each other. Talk. Play. Dream. Watch each other’s faces. Be present.

Will you commit?

For example:

• After dinner, close your phones for 10 minutes and ask each other one question you don’t usually ask.
• While the tree lights are twinkling, step outside for 10 minutes and walk hand-in-hand, reminiscing on one highlight of your year together.
• Before going to bed, turn off the screens for 10 minutes and look at old photos of your two of you. Talk about what you’d like to do together next year.

Think of it as your low-cost, high-impact “time gift.” Because the truth is: you must be intentional about your marriage. It’s too easy to settle into complacency, drift apart, while the calendar fills up and the holiday rush carries you onward.

Why This Matters

When couples spend meaningful time together, the benefits go deeper than just “nice to have.” One major study found that individuals are almost twice as happy when they are with their spouse compared to when they are not. Time together fosters connection, reduces stress, and strengthens the relational foundation. Especially during the holidays, when external pressures rise, this kind of connection acts like an anchor.

Will You Do It?

As you navigate December…the decorations, the gatherings, the gift shopping…remember: the most memorable gift may well be time together. Quality + Quantity = a strong, healthy, happy relationship.

So here’s the challenge: during the next week, carve out those 10 minutes a day. Make it yours. And then, I’d love to hear how it went. Email us and let us know your experience. What did you talk about? What surprised you? What felt different?

Want more ideas to connect during the holidays (and beyond)? Stay tuned for our next blog with fun holiday connection activities created just for couples in the hustle of the season.

Wishing you and your spouse a joyful, connected, and memorable holiday — where the best gift isn’t wrapped in paper, but shared in presence.