Let’s get one thing straight: there are no perfect relationships.

It’s something we all know deep down, but sometimes we need to remind ourselves, especially when things aren’t going as smoothly as we’d like. Relationships, no matter how strong, are bound to have their ups and downs. A single bad day, a poorly chosen word, or a moment of frustration doesn’t define your marriage.

So, what really matters?

It’s All About the Trend

The true measure of a relationship isn’t how you handle the occasional rough patch, but the overall direction it’s heading. The trend is what counts. Is your marriage trending upward, with more high points than low? Or are you stuck in a cycle of negativity, feeling disconnected more often than not?

I’m willing to bet that, if you take an honest look, the highs far outweigh the lows. The trick is knowing how to navigate through those difficult moments without losing sight of the bigger picture.

How to Navigate the Low Points

Every relationship will face its challenges—some bigger than others. But here’s a strategy to keep things in perspective: develop a short memory for the painful moments and a long memory for the joyful ones.

When something negative happens, let it go. Don’t dwell on the argument, the misunderstanding, or the moment of frustration. Recognize it, learn from it, and move forward. On the other hand, hold on to the moments that bring you joy—those little wins, the spontaneous laughter, the quiet moments of connection. Over time, these positive memories will outweigh the negative ones, and you’ll begin to see your relationship in a healthier, more balanced light.

When the Trend Takes a Turn

That said, if you notice your marriage is trending in a direction that makes you pause—if the good times are becoming fewer and the bad moments are starting to feel like the norm—it’s time to hit the reset button.

You and your spouse need to carve out some time to talk. Have an honest conversation about what’s been going on, how you’re both feeling, and what needs to change. Sometimes, it’s the smallest adjustments that can shift the dynamic of a relationship and get it back on track. Remember, it’s not about perfection. It’s about progress. Relationships take work, but when both partners are willing to put in the effort, the trend will be toward growth, happiness, and a deeper connection. So, focus on the big picture and don’t let a bad day—or even a bad week—define the whole journey.