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My Lover, My Best Friend

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My Lover, My Best Friend

On January 24, 2025, Posted by , In All Posts, By ,, , With Comments Off on My Lover, My Best Friend

What forms the basis of a good marriage?

Friendship?  Passion?

Friendship is the basis of a healthy marriage, not passion (although passion is vital – don’t get me wrong). 

Healthy couples use passion effectively, but it is not the foundation of their marriage. Friendship is.

So, this begs the question: Are you friends with your spouse? When you think of your most cherished friendships – people you can count on and they you – is your spouse one of those people?  If they are then great! But if not, then it’s time to work on becoming good friends again. 

I believe that your spouse should be your best friend – the person with whom you are closer than any other human being on the planet.

Becoming best friends with your spouse is one of the most rewarding things you can do for your marriage. Here are five practical tips to help foster a best-friend dynamic in your marriage:

1. Prioritize Time Together

Like any strong friendship, a great marriage requires quality time spent together. Make an effort to spend uninterrupted, focused time with your spouse, doing things you both enjoy. This can include regular date nights, walks, or simply having a conversation without distractions (like phones, TV, or work).

2. Communicate Openly and Honestly

Great friendships are built on trust, and trust is nurtured through open, honest communication. Share your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and struggles with your spouse, and encourage them to do the same. Be willing to listen to each other without judgment or interruption, offering empathy and understanding.

3. Have Fun & Laugh Together

A big part of friendship is having fun together and enjoying each other’s company. Don’t just talk about serious matters—make sure to share laughter, and jokes as well. Find activities that bring you both joy and allow you to bond in a relaxed, fun way.

4. Support Each Other’s Interests & Be Each Other’s Cheerleader

Being best friends means respecting and supporting each other’s individual interests. Even if you don’t share the same hobbies or passions, showing interest in your spouse’s activities and encouraging them to pursue their passions can strengthen your bond. Your spouse should feel that their dreams and pursuits matter to you.  And while you’re at it, be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader—encourage them when they’re feeling down, and celebrate their achievements, both big and small. Show genuine pride in who they are and what they do.

5. Be Vulnerable

True friendships are built on vulnerability, and the same is true in marriage. Allow your spouse to see your flaws, fears, and struggles. Let them know when you’re feeling insecure or anxious, and trust that they will be there to support and love you unconditionally. The more you open up, the deeper your connection will become.Building a marriage based on true friendship is an ongoing process—it’s about deepening your emotional connection, fostering trust, and supporting each other through life’s challenges. When your spouse is your best friend, you not only have a partner in life’s journey but someone who understands you deeply, loves you unconditionally, and shares in both your joys and struggles.

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