How would you finish this statement:

“If I really loved my spouse I would____________.”

Perhaps it might be something like…

“If I really loved my spouse I would tell them more often how much they really mean to me.”

For many couples, the answer goes like this: 

 “If I really loved my spouse I would find a way to spend more time together so they never feel unimportant or neglected.”

Did you know that feeling neglected is a common problem in marriages today?  One of the main reasons why is career demands. Career demands and increased workloads are often the source of marital neglect.

In the early years of a marriage, a spouse is usually fairly understanding about how much time their partner’s career consumes, especially when long-term stability and earning potential are at stake. However, as time passes, patience and understanding fade, and the spouse begins to feel second place to career.

Certain work schedules are worse than others because they keep spouses apart. One spouse might work days and the other nights. So when they are together one of them always feels tired. But it’s not always possible or easy to change these schedules when making ends meet. So what do you do? Should career aspirations be allowed to put a marriage at risk?

What can you do?

The only way to work long hours and still enjoy a happy marriage is to enlist the understanding and support of your spouse by helping him or her see why this is important and how it benefits the relationship.

If at any time your partner mentions that he or she feels that work is consuming too much of your time, then sit down and discuss the issue.  Listen and make an effort to understand their feelings. And if neglect is indeed causing problems, then sit down right now with your spouse to start identifying solutions and compromises.

Getting back to our question at the top of the article: “If I really loved my spouse I would _______.” 

Now plan right now to go and DO the thing you just mentioned.You will be glad you did.